14 July 2008 by Published in: writing 6 comments

I’m currently in a panic about the fact that the only story I have out has been out for 26 days on a market that, according to Duotrope, takes 33 on average to reject something (and that’s down! I swear a week ago it said 34 or 36 or some even number greater than 33) and I haven’t not had a single story out in ohhhh a year and a half, maybe? I don’t know for sure, I just know it’s been a long time and if the rejection arrives before I get the gumption to send out the two things that were rejected on 8 July and 24 June that are still hanging around for no good reason then I will have broken this streak however pathetic of always having something out and that seems terrible.

I realize that in the scheme of things, this is a stupid thing to be in a panic about. Panic’s not listening to my well-reasoned explanations.

Over the weekend I organized all the stories I have written that I could have out in markets if only I would fix them and send them and it came to 11 stories (well one is unfinished, so let’s make it 10, but another I just realized isn’t included and should be…how weird, I didn’t have hardcopy for it, though I think there must be hardcopy somewhere and I wonder where…so back up to 11 and oh…hardcopy missing on several things, I see that now that I think about it and check the hard drive — note to self for later: Adding to Naught, Easier Next Time, and the Would Be Super are not accounted for — well, let’s just say it’s 13) and that doesn’t count the story tentatively called “Mi Buenos Aires Querido” if that’s not going to impinge on Gardel too much or perhaps it will end up called after some line of Borges poetry if I can figure out which one in the next five days or so. Said story is in a separate pile on account of needing to be all expedited and out of here soon soon (so that total is something like 14…is that possible?)! And it also doesn’t count the trunked stories which I am not even looking at to rewrite because of the enormity of their suck, and there’s four of those, five if you count Hindsight which was the brave experiment in submissions now retired. So apparently I need to do some editing because this situation is a bit ridiculous and yet notice how even faced with this ridiculousness I’m still not editing.

Though when I do decide to edit, I’ll start with the one marked urgent.

And when my brain is doing this kind of breathless tallying and accounting is when I realize I’m in a panic.

I have no idea whether I’m making this post as procrastination or accountability. I’ll let you know later, if and when I manage to send the two stories waiting in the wings out to their prospective markets (which I have already picked! I know! It’s crazy! But I still have to steel myself to send things out and it’s not even related to the inevitable rejection though of course that counts too). If and when I manage to edit that story that needs to be out the door this week.

Also, as a tangential worry, why is it that when I go back and re-read these stories for editing they sound so utilitarian? Do I no longer have access to any beautiful words, images, moments? Blech.

You know, there’s a small bit of good news on the writing front. I sold a story, specifically my Bradbury/Alfonsina Storni homage. But shhh. Because the last time I sold something and told you about it, IT NEVER CAME OUT. So just…shhh. I’ll let you know if it’s ever published. Yeah, I know, crazy superstitious talk, but see above re:panic. Also, I dunno why I bother to file the serial numbers off if I’m just going to recite them to you here. Some student in some far flung parallel universe is currently looking right at this to support their thesis that the main character in that story is meant to be Alfonsina Storni with an eyebrow ring.

BTW, tally so far on the lyrics game is 2 points Sunjunkie and 2 points Jerm. Yes, it’s like basketball. You get two points every time you score. You can’t win if you don’t play, as they say.

Comments

roomtemp
Mon 14th Jul 2008 at 3:45 pm

your third graf terrifies me.

Lanf
Tue 15th Jul 2008 at 8:15 am

Re: superstition…you tell actors to break a leg. What do you tell writers??

Charlie
Wed 16th Jul 2008 at 11:25 am

Methinks that perhaps you are being a bit harsh on yourself which in and of itself is enough to cause a bit of a panic. Though it is necessary to edit past/present writings and on some level necessary to inventory and categorize said writings, it would seem that it is also important to remember to remind oneself of the successful portions of those writings which don’t need editing. Hence, though you see the editing that needs to be done and have the potential to be overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of it (hence the panic attack), this is offset by the realization that all of those writings contain portions that can be deemed to be not only excellent reading but success in and of themselves.

I’d play the music game but my taste in music is just too weird :P

Lanf
Wed 16th Jul 2008 at 6:31 pm

But it’s almost forgotten It’s been pulled away.

(I admit to cheating and using google , but man, I forgot how much I liked that song.)

Wed 16th Jul 2008 at 10:25 pm

I think I may have mentioned this earlier but fix is and send it. It isn’t as painful as you think.

Pot…kettle…

Also, I’m refraining from the game, as I fear I will fail without Google, and then I’m cheating.

sunjunkie
Thu 17th Jul 2008 at 7:28 am

Another pot chimes in…

But great news! You’re not working on 14 things. You’re only working on one: the one that needs to go out this week. Just one thing. When that’s done, you pick another. Just one. Set a deadline for it and finish. Send it. Pick the next.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

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