closet-keys:

There is a pervasive ideological construction that someone either deserves autonomy or support, but that these are mutually exclusive.

This artificial construction is extremely present when it comes to discourses about age and ability. People will discuss taking away choices or censoring information as “protecting” young and disabled people, and will discuss taking away material support as a necessary exchange for decision making (e.g. “if you live under my roof, you live under my rules”–a threat that asserting autonomy comes at the cost of homelessness). This dynamic is so foundational to the oppression of children that even when applied to adult groups we use words like paternalism and infantilization to communicate that a group of adults is being treated “like children.”

Whenever you demand autonomy, people use this as justification to withdraw resources and care. Whenever you express your need for resources and care, people use this as justification to withdraw bodily autonomy. In reality, all people deserve bodily autonomy and care. And in reality, oppressed people are routinely denied both.

YES. Autonomy AND care. Both/and.