“Olympus” Sucks

Friday’s news bulletin : “Olympus” sucks. Terribly broken. Non-functional. One new thing I tried was accomplished so poorly that it was not even registered as an attempt. All kinds of rivet counting going on, as well. And still having the problem where I think I telegraph things blatantly and people don’t pick up on the semaphores. Bear with me while I whinge a bit. This is disturbing to me on various levels above and beyond the obvious fact that, given my druthers, I’d rather write things that don’t suck. But here’s the above and beyond : 1 – this story is important to me (which may be part of the problem, I suppose.), 2 – I’d like to think I’m doing all this cool shiny stuff that I learned at VP, but apparently I’m not, 3 – I want to have faith that the curve of my writing is climbing, you know? I don’t want to think of it like this jagged stock market, prone to rise or plummet without warning. There’s a reason I don’t gamble. Two people have said this is the worst thing I’ve written. One of those two people said “trite”. Prick me, I bleed, and so on and so forth, I’ll spare you the melodrama if you promise to picture it. I don’t have any ambitions to originality, I’m right with the school of people who believe in the limited plots, but I do strive for a certain authenticity, and trite isn’t part of that equation. Bleah.

I have no idea what I’m doing! What’s worse, people have noticed this! I’d so rather have a regular job right now. I didn’t miss the mark, I just did what my boss told me. It was the committee. It was the lack of funding, and proper equipment. It was, uhm, someone other than me not doing their job. Sigh.

News of “Olympus” suckage has completely derailed me from finishing “Lie Down with Dogs”, which bothers me. The two things are not related. I should be able to continue one without worrying about the other. Should, and yet, seem unable to. Completely paralyzed. I am not the story, the story is not me. And yet.

So you know what they say: Try. Fail. Try harder. Fail better. Only today I want a break from failing. So maybe tomorrow.