seasonal blues

Shortest day of the year. I always feel like it’s a victory if I can get this far along without feeling dreadful. This is usually when I tell people I’m going to quit writing/living/breathing/thinking/etc. From here on out the days lengthen again and it won’t be quite so dark. At the beginning of December, when I realized I was starting to feel pretty badly, I picked up some vitamin D. The research on the link between vitamin D and seasonal affective disorder (that which is internet accessible, anyway) seems pretty sketchy, but it’s a ten dollar gamble, whereas buying those lights (though I’ve been contemplating that, too) is like a hundred dollar gamble.

Predictably, I went for the cheap option. And obviously I have no way of scientifically proving that it’s helping me, because we all know how widespread the placebo effect can be and how unreliably one measures one’s own moods…but I really haven’t gone to quite such a dark and bitter place as I usually do at this time of year. I’ve been able to maintain some semblance of social relationships, and I haven’t felt as tired, or as in need of as much sugar and fat. So completely subjectively, the vitamin D supplements are helping. I don’t even take them every day (because I can’t seem to remember to) but even taking them every other or every third day appears to be having a positive effect.

Now there’s a lot of dark and cold left to the season, and maybe I’m being to too quick to call victory. We’ll just see about that.

Still, I wish I’d tried it years ago.

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