21 November 2006 by Published in: writing No comments yet

Ok, this is going to be very short, because I’m very tired, but I’m trying so hard not to miss a day! I’m really excited because I just got back from a crit group where we’re going over Cualcotel. My readers got new, from-scratch written text (as opposed to edited and reworked), because this is where the novel takes a sharp turn from last draft and enters undiscovered plot country. So, I hesitantly added several cans of plot to thicken the stew, hoping I wasn’t totally botching it because you know me and plot. So…both readers thought it was good, and the queen of plot actually said I’d done a fine job. Damn, if it wasn’t like getting a smiley face sticker or an A++ on a paper. Skills, slowly and painfully acquired, while you wait. That’s what I’m talking about!

Anyway, the rush of joy is so great, that I give you freebie text. Have some bits of Cualcotel that I liked very much but had to go, for plot reasons. So it’s nothing that will ever appear anywhere except right here:

It was as though she were still dreaming, or maybe watching herself across a courtyard from a balcony in another building. It wasn’t really she standing before a broken palace. Chelia laid her hand on Punyami’s neck and stroked his ears. The velvet smoothness of them anchored her in a way that her own feet did not. Smoke clung unnaturally to tumbled down rocks. It didn’t disperse in the cool mountain breeze. The air was especially cool on her bare arms, making her wish (again) that she’d had a chance to dress and get an overshirt. She shivered. Chelia had stopped, and everyone around her still moved. She was jostled aside by a trio of sun virgins carrying large bouquets of flowers. The guard was far ahead. He had neither stopped nor acted surprised at the sight of the wrecked palace. She darted between the crowds to reach him. Punyami followed.

and then a bit later this line of dialog from the guard was also excised : “No battle, keeper-to-be, the Kingdom of the Sun takes its wars to others. War is not brought to us.”

See? When the writing goes ok, we all win!

But that’s not enough, is it? Alright, then, here’s the text that replaced what was cut in a never before seen preview of my work in progress Cualcotel:

Chelia’s throat closed up, stifling the whimper rising in her. She laid her hand on Punyami’s neck, calmed by the motion of his muscles as he walked with her. She would never enter that trapezoidal door again. Her father would not allow it. He’d given her Punyami. They kept one another safe.

I’m going to have to do something about that word trapezoidal. So far slanted and leaning have bombed as replacements, and really, they’re trapezoidal. Le mot juste and so forth. I think it stops the eye on the page, though. Anyway, plenty of time to think about something other than trapezoidal to put there after it’s finished, right?

That’s all, folks. Have a good night.


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