Darth Vader, Caitlin R. Kiernan, Why I’m Not a Hero

Dream. Topics named in title.

I dreamed that I was with these people who were going to fight this big evil person who turns out to be Darth Vader. There were three of us, and they decided that the best approach would be to don a costume just like Darth Vader’s and attack him. For some reason, instead of helping them out in this endeavor, I sneak around to the front of the building and find Caitlin R. Kiernan there. We start to make out, and then I’m reading a story written by her in which everything I’ve just described is happening, and I’m writing her a letter to tell her how great this story is, because I really truly felt like I was in it, and like I was really kissing her.

I usually just let my dreams stand as they are, as I’m not all that much into dream interpretations, but I thought I would explain, for those of you not in my head, where I suspect some of this is coming from. Caitlin R. Kiernan (forgive the lack of accentuation, please) is one of those people whose journal I read all the time, and whom I was somewhat venting about a couple of entries ago in the talk about amazon.com. I am one of the type of readers she hates, by the way, in that I read her blog almost every day but have never once purchased any of her books. I’m slowly inching my way closer to buying one at some point, because she talks a lot about Lovecraft and that makes me interested, but when I picked up one of her books the other day in the store and read the first two paragraphs I decided it didn’t grab me enough to shell out the cash for it. Yet. So, I’m thinking the making out thing was kind of like a mental “kiss and make up” for sort of abstractly dissing on her, and not really directly sexual, if you know what I mean. Not that I’m particularly scared of having lesbian-tinged dreams, or anything. I have those periodically, as I’m sure lots of people do. I’m not here to apologize for my subconscious.