Date:

May 5th, 2003

5 May 2003, by Anna Schwind

I’ve been meaning to make a correction. It’s not the sour kangaroo who says “Quit your yapping!” in Horton Hears a Who (as I mistakenly wrote the other day) but Vlad Vladikoff, the black-bottomed eagle. I was tempted to go back and just change the text of the original entry, but I decided a correction would be better.

With that brief PSA out of the way, I can now feel free to bust out into full on rant mode. The object of today’s rant is one Blair Hornstine, who apparently feels
she’s being treated unfairly when asked to share the position of valedictorian with two other students. Someone has neglected to tell Ms. Hornstine that in the big wide world of real life no one cares who was a valedictorian, much less who had to share the honor. I don’t know if she was rushed through school in some kind of gifted program (and I could go on about gifted programs at length, but I think that’s another rant for another day) or not, but it seems obvious the young lass missed those essential moments in kindergarten where they teach the concept of sharing. Not only is it, to my mind, ludicrous to assume that other people’s accomplishments diminish her own, I find it offensive that she thinks her miniscule school achievements merit the time of the court and the taxpayers’ money. It’s inconceivable that we’re going to be paying some judge to listen to some spoiled brat of a high school kid whine. What kind of a skewed world view makes people do dumb things like this? Does she realize how petty and petulant she comes across in her actions? Does she think her college mates aren’t going to know what a big baby she is? Where are her parents? Why aren’t they telling her to get a grip, already? When is suing people going to stop being the answer to every real or perceived slight?

Since we’re all having so much trouble sharing, maybe I can go sit in time out for a bit? Like on another planet? I don’t care if it’s not as nice as this one, so long as Ms. Hornstine and her ilk stay here and carry on their pointless squabbling competition without me.

[Link credit to Legomancer who had his own (funnier) take that you should read as well.]